PS4 - Hawken

Yes! If you have not noticed yet. I am a GAMER! I enjoy video games and I love online playing games. I enjoy blowing stuff up and killing other players. I also enjoy very interesting story lines. Now, when I did not have much to do with work and stuff. I played this game called Hawken on steam. I played in on the PC and stuff and decided to leave  it alone because I was one it 24/7 it seemed. I missed it and when I saw it was offered for free on PS4. It was a must have!!! I had to get online to play it as soon as I can.

If you ever played it and wanna join me... please let me know.

I love the game and enjoy playing!

The latest drama on paltalk....

In this blog, I am going to discuss what has been going on with Paltalk. Particularly in the spiritual section! There is always a great divide within all sections of Paltalk. There is not one section that doesn't have their rebels that enjoy coming in the chat rooms and causing issues. Now, there is this group within the spiritual section that are always trying to push people in front of trains. They claim they are calling people on their bullshit etc. Now, what part of this becomes bullying? what part of it becomes unacceptable? Do they just ignore the issue until it goes away!? Who knows.... it seems if people try to meditate the situation between the two, you become the subject of great division.

Me personally! I do not give a shit either way. Once it is directed at me, that is when it comes to an problem. I have no issues with anyone in the section and would like to keep it that way.

I have a way of making people that are considered trouble makers be okay with me. It is kinda like I bring the good out in the person because they know that they don't have to be that way with me. Even though sometimes I am a bit of a troll myself at times. When I get bored of Paltalk, I usually cause a bit of trouble. Nothing major just likes to joke around and act like some crazy white girl that doesn't have her head skewed on tight. I also sometimes take a very controversial topic and will play devil's advocate. I will start debates and discussions based on the other's opinions that are mostly disapproved of. Then other times, I will just act like a redneck that doesn't know anything. It gives me something to do at times.

Paltalk can be very draining at times and you have a tendency to lose yourself. I have met a  lot of great people on the program and hope to keep in touch with them beyond it.  I have my times and I think all Paltalk users come to a point where they spend less time on it and then go to something else. Then usually come back again. It is the time and season for everything.

Hobbies...

Lately, I have been feeling a bit crafty! Yes, I am wanting to do so many projects yet I do not finish any of them. It kinda sucks really! My mom and I started making jewelry and I do have to say, our first attempt at it was pretty damn good.
I guess I am going to make the jewelry making activity a way to spend quality time with my mother. It was nice and I enjoyed spending the time with her. I will post pictures of the jewelry that we made on my site. The pair of earnings has gotten lots of compliments so far, which gives me the confidence to keep working at it.
I have also started knitting and crocheting which is something I am using to keep my mind busy. It is actually extremely relaxing and I hope to get good enough to make something; such as a blanket. My brother is having a baby, so I probably make him a baby blanket once I get the hang of it. Then again by the time I finish it, my niece or nephew would already be in college.  Teehee..

I started making the quilt that I wanted to make my brother and I have only gotten one square done. Between looking for a job, doing all these projects, and studying... lol I don't know what to start and what to finish. Then not to mention, the urge to paint, but I don't have a real idea of what to paint. I get in my moods once in a while where I have to express myself. I have been working on one painting that a friend of mine gave me an idea for, but It is not expressive enough. I am actually considering getting a big canvas for it. Might actually make a great art piece to hand down to later generations. I know you probably wanting to know what it is about, but I am not gonna reveal that information just yet. It is going to be a secret until it is finished. I have already sketched up some ideas regarding it.

These have been my hobbies and as you can tell, I am really into crafts and making things with my hands. I hope that my hobbies can help me express myself artistically and possibly allow me to make money at it too. Lets see where this takes me....

Not sure what I wanna do with my life....

There has been plenty of times where I have questioned what am I going to do with my life!? I know I am not the only person out there in this world that has the same question. I feel that I am a person that goes with the flow and enjoys experiencing new things in life! Though, society say I have to be act a certain way. I feel like every time I get started in a new direction. That I end up confused and hating my current life choices. Not the choices of making bad decisions, but more less wanting more out of life. Usually picture myself getting in my car and driving off somewhere, not knowing where I would end up. I desperately need a new start and feel the only way to do it, is to jump off the cliff face.

Trust me, I do not mind having a hard go at things. I been there done that! I am currently in a situation where I am not at my best. I live at home with my parents jobless, once again! It is a bit of a cycle that keeps happening to me and I am not really sure if I am the problem or it is my situation. These two concepts are blurred in my eyes. My parents feel that I am the cause of what is happening to me. I feel that I am having a streak bad luck at life at the moment. Where is my GO get it attitude!? Why can't I be happy just at a stupid job and satisfied with earning money? Why do I have this desire to do something bigger in life than myself, but do not know how to get there. I guess school would be a good start, right? Well, currently I am getting my Bachelors of science degree in Information Technology. I have not had any luck with my Associates degree landing me a position, so I figured it would be better if I had a higher education. I love learning! I honestly do, even though it is tedious and requires me to know things, that I probably will not ever have to remember again. 

When I was attending my local University, I was working close to 40 hours a week. The load of me having to go to school and work caused me to fall behind in my work load. I would miss classes, because I felt the time I was sitting in an lecture. I could use that time to actually do assignments and study. That is why when I choose to go back to college again. I wanted to be able to get my degree online. Now, I am attending SNHU and enjoying it whole lot better. 

The only problem is, I do not have an job! Which makes my parents very upset! Yes, I should not require anyone to support me at the age of 30. Trust me, I do not want anyone to support me either. I have a fear in the back of my mind, that if I get a job that doesn't allow me to study the way I have been. I am going to fall behind in my work and I will start to fail. I do not want to fail! I want to pass my classes and keep my GPA up. Currently, I am holding a 3.0 GPA and I want to keep it that way. 

I know getting a job somewhere that I will not be happy at. Will just cause me more frustration in the long run. That is why, I am going to keep exploring my options and see what type of things I could do, without having to go to a job that I do not love and will not enjoy. Does anyone have any suggestions of an job, I could be flexible at?

I am going to advertise helping seniors with technology, which was a great suggestion from a life coach. I am also going to consider my original idea of selling certain things online, just do not know anything else I could possibly do. Let's see where life takes me! Wish me luck! 

  

Paltalk and their wonderful issues!

I was trying to finish up all my class work. I wanted to have some free time to spend on paltalk and realized that paltalk is having some MAJOR issues at the moment. People are going in rooms that can't be seen, which is referred to ghosting. They have issue with people not seeing everyone in the room, not seeing everyone's text and issues with people not being able to go into "Do not disturb mode".

I figured I would go into the help lobby to figure out what is truly causing the issues. I was hearing some rumors going around that paltalk was hacked. Wanted to verify that my information was protected. Too bad we as paltalk users are being reimbursed for the trouble. Its not the first time this shit has happened. Usually it is just laggy and people are not able to grab the mic in time exetra.  I love how paltalk enjoys ruining my life as usual! Can't have an good conversation and enjoy my friends time.

I guess this could be a good thing or an bad thing. Now at least I have time to do some other things before I get caught back in to school work. Probably should go ahead and start on my second week of work for school.

At least it gave me some time to update my journal. :)

Monday!? Should I be blue....

Good morning! It was surprising that I woke up as early as I did today. I was afraid that I was going to oversleep today, I guess the dogs barking did not help my sleeping situations out very much. Usually, I am able to sleep through almost anything.

I do not have any particular plans for today, I am drinking coffee because I am being too lazy to make tea. It just easier to put the grains in the keurig and put the cup underneath. Where I would have to bring the water to a boil and then add the milk, sugar, and tea to the pot. Then wait for it patiently while It doesn't boil over; making sure you take it off the burner before the reaches the edge of the pot. You have to bring it to the boiling point, because otherwise it taste as if you didn't let the loose leaves brew enough. Then again, when I learned to make tea... it was pretty damn sure that It was going to spill all over the stove top. Now, I have it down to an sience. I play chicken with the tea creeping up to the rim of the pot and pulling it off in time. Giggling as if I achieved a greatness by defeating the tea Gods in a game of chicken.

Since I have my coffee now, I am sitting here sipping it thinking in which way I can make my day productive. I know that I have to get down to working on my studies. Today is the first day of my term. I need to get organized and ready for what lays ahead of me. I also probably need to go out and wonder for a bit. Maybe take a trip to the park and sit and ponder about life. I need to get my act together and see where my life takes me in the next 10 years. I need to focus on my goals more and get where I need to. In order to lead and fruitful life. 

Besides of pondering my life way, I have plans of being on paltalk for some time. Discussing ideas and self expression. There are times where I get kinda bored of the same old topics and wish more people would assist with the conversation. Then there is that aspect of myself that has ADHD and can't concentrate on what is going on in the room. I feel bad when I disappear and wonder off in my own thoughts. Drifting here and there as if I am taking on an exploration of the mind.... No one knows surely where my thoughts would lead me.   

If you would like to join me... please feel free to join my room and come and participate. I always want new ideas and ways of looking at the world. 

The monday is good thus far and I hope it has a lot more ways of getting better.... Wish me luck!  

Dream journal

I had a person recommend me start a dream journal. Now my dreams are like mixed things that don't make any sense. I try my best but I can't even question anything. I had a few dreams that stood out but now it doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe the idea trying to remember everything is what the biggest problem, who knows.

I really wanna keep up with my blog but my ideas suck. I do not know where to start and were to end. Who knows!!! Anyways..