Not sure what I wanna do with my life....

There has been plenty of times where I have questioned what am I going to do with my life!? I know I am not the only person out there in this world that has the same question. I feel that I am a person that goes with the flow and enjoys experiencing new things in life! Though, society say I have to be act a certain way. I feel like every time I get started in a new direction. That I end up confused and hating my current life choices. Not the choices of making bad decisions, but more less wanting more out of life. Usually picture myself getting in my car and driving off somewhere, not knowing where I would end up. I desperately need a new start and feel the only way to do it, is to jump off the cliff face.

Trust me, I do not mind having a hard go at things. I been there done that! I am currently in a situation where I am not at my best. I live at home with my parents jobless, once again! It is a bit of a cycle that keeps happening to me and I am not really sure if I am the problem or it is my situation. These two concepts are blurred in my eyes. My parents feel that I am the cause of what is happening to me. I feel that I am having a streak bad luck at life at the moment. Where is my GO get it attitude!? Why can't I be happy just at a stupid job and satisfied with earning money? Why do I have this desire to do something bigger in life than myself, but do not know how to get there. I guess school would be a good start, right? Well, currently I am getting my Bachelors of science degree in Information Technology. I have not had any luck with my Associates degree landing me a position, so I figured it would be better if I had a higher education. I love learning! I honestly do, even though it is tedious and requires me to know things, that I probably will not ever have to remember again. 

When I was attending my local University, I was working close to 40 hours a week. The load of me having to go to school and work caused me to fall behind in my work load. I would miss classes, because I felt the time I was sitting in an lecture. I could use that time to actually do assignments and study. That is why when I choose to go back to college again. I wanted to be able to get my degree online. Now, I am attending SNHU and enjoying it whole lot better. 

The only problem is, I do not have an job! Which makes my parents very upset! Yes, I should not require anyone to support me at the age of 30. Trust me, I do not want anyone to support me either. I have a fear in the back of my mind, that if I get a job that doesn't allow me to study the way I have been. I am going to fall behind in my work and I will start to fail. I do not want to fail! I want to pass my classes and keep my GPA up. Currently, I am holding a 3.0 GPA and I want to keep it that way. 

I know getting a job somewhere that I will not be happy at. Will just cause me more frustration in the long run. That is why, I am going to keep exploring my options and see what type of things I could do, without having to go to a job that I do not love and will not enjoy. Does anyone have any suggestions of an job, I could be flexible at?

I am going to advertise helping seniors with technology, which was a great suggestion from a life coach. I am also going to consider my original idea of selling certain things online, just do not know anything else I could possibly do. Let's see where life takes me! Wish me luck! 

  

Hanuman Chalise!!

Whenever I get blah feeling.... I like to listen to Chants and relaxing music. I have came across an singer called Krishna Das. He voice is very calming and I enjoy his stuff very much!!!

This video gives me the strength and courage to go on even when I feel like quitting.

I hope you enjoy it!

Paltalk and their wonderful issues!

I was trying to finish up all my class work. I wanted to have some free time to spend on paltalk and realized that paltalk is having some MAJOR issues at the moment. People are going in rooms that can't be seen, which is referred to ghosting. They have issue with people not seeing everyone in the room, not seeing everyone's text and issues with people not being able to go into "Do not disturb mode".

I figured I would go into the help lobby to figure out what is truly causing the issues. I was hearing some rumors going around that paltalk was hacked. Wanted to verify that my information was protected. Too bad we as paltalk users are being reimbursed for the trouble. Its not the first time this shit has happened. Usually it is just laggy and people are not able to grab the mic in time exetra.  I love how paltalk enjoys ruining my life as usual! Can't have an good conversation and enjoy my friends time.

I guess this could be a good thing or an bad thing. Now at least I have time to do some other things before I get caught back in to school work. Probably should go ahead and start on my second week of work for school.

At least it gave me some time to update my journal. :)

Monday!? Should I be blue....

Good morning! It was surprising that I woke up as early as I did today. I was afraid that I was going to oversleep today, I guess the dogs barking did not help my sleeping situations out very much. Usually, I am able to sleep through almost anything.

I do not have any particular plans for today, I am drinking coffee because I am being too lazy to make tea. It just easier to put the grains in the keurig and put the cup underneath. Where I would have to bring the water to a boil and then add the milk, sugar, and tea to the pot. Then wait for it patiently while It doesn't boil over; making sure you take it off the burner before the reaches the edge of the pot. You have to bring it to the boiling point, because otherwise it taste as if you didn't let the loose leaves brew enough. Then again, when I learned to make tea... it was pretty damn sure that It was going to spill all over the stove top. Now, I have it down to an sience. I play chicken with the tea creeping up to the rim of the pot and pulling it off in time. Giggling as if I achieved a greatness by defeating the tea Gods in a game of chicken.

Since I have my coffee now, I am sitting here sipping it thinking in which way I can make my day productive. I know that I have to get down to working on my studies. Today is the first day of my term. I need to get organized and ready for what lays ahead of me. I also probably need to go out and wonder for a bit. Maybe take a trip to the park and sit and ponder about life. I need to get my act together and see where my life takes me in the next 10 years. I need to focus on my goals more and get where I need to. In order to lead and fruitful life. 

Besides of pondering my life way, I have plans of being on paltalk for some time. Discussing ideas and self expression. There are times where I get kinda bored of the same old topics and wish more people would assist with the conversation. Then there is that aspect of myself that has ADHD and can't concentrate on what is going on in the room. I feel bad when I disappear and wonder off in my own thoughts. Drifting here and there as if I am taking on an exploration of the mind.... No one knows surely where my thoughts would lead me.   

If you would like to join me... please feel free to join my room and come and participate. I always want new ideas and ways of looking at the world. 

The monday is good thus far and I hope it has a lot more ways of getting better.... Wish me luck!  

Starting my second term....

Tomorrow will be another my second term at Southern New Hampshire University.  I past with my last term with high marks. It was big of a struggle the last week of the term. I was having some difficulties with my pre-cal class and was stressing out about not having the information click in my brain.

I was extremely happy when my term ended because I had some time off to do whatever I desired. I could draw, watch stupid youtube videos, chat online, or even lay in bed all day and watch netflix if I desired. Even though, I needed to find a job and work on getting out of my parents house. I was at least going to take one week off to actually veg out. I am excited about the term starting, but at the same time I am sorta of gonna miss the free time.

I know if I keep working hard towards getting my degree that there would be nothing left to stop me. Hopefully getting this degree in the long run will assist me with getting a better job. I am tried of feel that I am stuck in this cycle that is never ending.

Update: Paltalk Room - Hair Om Spiritual Center

Paltalk Room - Hair Om Spiritual Center

I have been doing a lot lately, but since I am done with my term. I have started looking into paltalk for an good covo. I am currently opened an room that is in the spiritual section. It is doing very well these days. Hopefully, since I have some really good people helping me run it. That it will keep going well on it's way.